Who This Is ForCommon Starting Points
- Co-parenting with an ex who uses conflict, guilt, or manipulation as a tactic
- Navigating a high-conflict divorce or separation
- Trying to reduce a child's exposure to ongoing adult conflict
- Stuck in repeating arguments or power struggles with a partner or family member and need a strategic outside read
How Coaching HelpsWhat the Work Looks Like
This work is built directly on the Adlerian approach — specifically the four goals of misbehavior: attention, power, revenge, and avoidance. Most high-conflict behavior is one of these four playing out, and once you can name which one you're dealing with, you can respond strategically instead of reactively.
- Reading the pattern — identifying which goal is driving a specific behavior, in a co-parent, partner, or child.
- Boundary and communication strategy — concrete scripts and structures for high-conflict exchanges, not just general advice to "stay calm."
- The "typical day" review — mapping where friction actually happens, so effort goes toward the real flashpoints.
- Protecting kids from the conflict — practical steps to keep children out of the middle, separate from any custody or legal strategy.
BackgroundWhy This Focus
Dr. Kassel built and directed Illinois' first recognized county Forensic Services department, which included domestic violence intervention programming, and later taught graduate coursework in Crisis & Trauma Intervention. His training also included work directly under J. Reid Meloy, PhD, ABPP on violence risk assessment — pattern-recognition skills repurposed here for reading high-conflict relationship dynamics, not forensic assessment. See the Specialized Training background for the full list.
Coaching is not mediation, custody evaluation, or legal advice, and is not a substitute for a family law attorney. It also does not provide therapy for children.